I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So much rum. So many feels.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
