Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
