where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
