I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
