Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
