it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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