Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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