im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
