Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
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