no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
