I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
