I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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