Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
