at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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