That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Randomize
