he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
