Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
