Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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