Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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