You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
