you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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