I want to make a zoo with you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
