Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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