Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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