i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
