Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize