i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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