I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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