i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't think brook has ever known best
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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