that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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