My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
