I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
