dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
