Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
