OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she looked like the before picture.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
