I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
