So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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