im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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