We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This house was built for laser tag.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
