so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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