I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
