you have to choose: penises or morals?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
