ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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