I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
