And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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