Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
