Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Boobs speak an international language.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
