I will die if light touches me.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
