Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
