Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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