Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
