I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
