just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
