She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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