we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
