i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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