capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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