You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
