The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
