A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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