My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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