I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
