I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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